Writings and thoughts from Brad Deifer

Brad Deifer Evo Recordings Raleigh, NC President/Founder

Thursday, October 25, 2007

PS

I lost everything I own by following my belief in the bands I initially put out and ran into the groud with, I have officially followed my belief in music and the bands I really love and know are good to the bottom, now I have to find a way to get through it. They say perseverance pays off, but it sure does not seem like it does in this industry ( unless you have deep, deep pockets) and treat it like a business selling any commodity.

Thanks forever to

Karate High School
Revery ( Too bad this went away, they had a ton to give to commercial rock)
Patty Hurst Shifter ( I still beleive this band is the best band out there and could have been)
Long Since Forgotten (These guys will be fine)

I missed one that I really regret as well, and they are a great band called Trashlight Vision.....



I got them all out there, on a national stage via distribution, but I made a few bad decesions that I regret and now I can not seem to find a way to make this work and take carte of my family, I already lost my house and car to it, and now I have to move on.......................

There has beena "pile on" effect happeneing in my life, things really, really went down hill lately.......

Been thinking about life, and how it takes journeys, my new son Elijah and Zachary, the really unyielding pressure of raising two boys to not BE LIKE ME, but to be what you think is right. I missed many turns and oppurtunities, but I want to make sure they don't I will find a way tomake sure that their value system is what I really believe can make a fullfilling life, and not the one like mine that gets all knotted and tripping up and down over itself with self destructive behavior, and the sheer fact that I basically let life guide me as opposed to guiding where I want to be.

I want them to be curious, inquisitive, athletic, and good people, understand things around them for what they are, as this country dumbs down, I want to make sure they understand the need to read and investigate, question and love. The one thing I never did, was find a passion at a young age, and follow it, not just live for the needs in your youth. I will make sure they understand more than I did, and decide better, I have such doubts about this world, and the process of which its people are going, and I am not completely convinved this world will be here when their kids have kids.

I have lately been really into simply things, looking at a great western, it hit me that things where much more exact and real in the early days of our country and things that mattered where important, WHAT DID WE DO TO THIS WORLD......

More on that later.......it is, as of late, really disturbing me. Where we have gone with technology, greed, and the chase of money and status, also what we look up to, and aspire to be, the raw essence of man is and has for a long time been taken away, and it is now way, way to noisy and fast to ever return, I do beleive there is a major change that will have to come, as you can not get faster, stronger as the people get lazy , fat and dumb. Explosions are definately coming on a socioiological basis, I never thought I would envy a simplier time, with better, clearer and exacting lines, but I do.....

My next post will be for my two sons , as I want to outline exactly what I think needs to be introduced to them, based on what I see now looking back, and what I wish I could pass on to them. I have a three year old that already likes the concept that Into The Wild introduced, whish is not so much as being dumb and losing your life leaving society, but the risk and personal strength it takes TO ACT on what you see as a direction that is not positive. That is what I take out of things like that, and from folks stronger than I and with more balls, to act on their beleifs. (Granted responsibilities change actions, and I have gone way to far into life to ever believe that there is not greatness and good somewhere out there, but it now has to be found by my chidren)

The last few weeks

I have been thinking about life and the progression, and what I find so said, is the point I am at, the point where

You leave behind the pursuit and quest for greatness in life and reside, by choice or circumstnace, to a life that has to focus on survival.

A Movie that is must see, the great depiction of one of the most interesting stories of my last 20 years of life, that of Chris McLandess and the book" Into the WIld", God bless Seam Penn as the portrail is beautiful and thought provoking as the first time I read John Krakauer's book.